Tim Vine

From ARFOPEDIA

"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books." "And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.' "So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'" "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice." I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.' So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'" "So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

all in the space of about 10 seconds

[edit] Tim 'Housemates' Vine Being Impossibly Arrogant

[edit] Users Who Don't Like Tim 'Housemates' Vine

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