The Queen
From ARFOPEDIA
The content of this page is endorsed by The Queen
The Queen is the ruler of England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland and England, as well as Gibraltar, Hong Kong, Australia and Canada. She wins constantly, though as these victories usually come up against easy-to-dismiss bog-trotting micks they are often overlooked.
If you are not standing and saluting whilst reading this page then you are a traitor.
Contents |
[edit] Queen Facts
- Favourite pastimes of the Queen include watching Cricket, encouraging Marshal Wade to hush sedition and crush rebellious scots, and writing scripts for the award winning comedy Prince Phillip
- She is currently the world champion of kickboxing, having smugly dismembered former champion, Jean Claude Van Damme
- When The Queen was a perky young student at her own University in Dublin, she invented oxygen which allows all existence on Earth. She graciously allowed even non-subjects to enjoy this munificent gift.
- Her most arrogant act was surely the dissolution of the monasteries in 1536, simply sonning the pope in one fell swoop.
- Smugly Jedi mind tricked Henri Paul into driving into a tunnel wall for a laugh.
- Has showed her class by insisting that she will not die before her first born son, who is basically an embarrassing hippy.
- Taught Jimi Hendrix how to play guitar and roll spliffs
- Gave Tony Melendez the idea of being awesome.
- Part-time ninja and patron of the Royal Society of Ninjas
- Uma Thurman's stunt double in the Kill Bill films
- Long time owner of Swansea City Football Club
- Randomly wished a new breed of dog into existence
- Invented linux.
- The Queen's nickname when she was a small girl was "Princess", because she was literally a Princess.
- Supports Arsenal.
- Dismissed George W. Bush
[edit] Miscellaneous tributes
- OH MAY GOD BLESS HER MAJESTY!
- Am I worthy? Not I. I am not even fit to lick the crumbs from under her table, but her gracious gentle being lets me live amongst this green and pleasant land like the royalty that only she, the highest being upon god's earth, can claim as her own!
- Long live the Queen
- Sir - I am amazed that Charles Moore (Opinion, October 8) should consider Margaret Thatcher to be the greatest living Englishwoman.
With no disrespect to her, that accolade undoubtedly belongs to the Queen. She has given more than 50 years of selfless service to this country. Her Christian faith and Steadfastness in every circumstance are an inspiration to all.
Marjorie Kiddle, Woking, Surrey
- I used to respect the pope, but then i found out about the Queen and how arrogant she is.
[edit] NO SURRENDER
KEEP ST GEORGE IN MY HEART, KEEP ME ENGLISH, KEEP ST GEORGE IN MY HEART I PRAY, KEEP ST GEORGE IN MY HEART KEEP ME ENGLISH, NO SURRENDER TO THE I-R-A. NO SURRENDER, NO SURRENDER, NO SURRENDER TO THE I-R-A.
[edit] The National Anthem
Warning - the following lyrics will probably make you cry with pride
God save our gracious Queen,
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen:
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us:
God save the Queen.
O Lord, our God, arise,
Scatter her enemies,
And make them fall.
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On thee our hopes we fix:
God save the Queen.
Thy choicest gifts in store,
On her be pleased to pour;
Long may she reign:
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice
God save the Queen
Not in this land alone,
But be God's mercies known,
From shore to shore!
Lord make the nations see,
That men should brothers be,
And form one family,
The wide world ov'er.
From every latent foe,
From the assassins blow,
God save the Queen!
O'er her thine arm extend,
For Britain's sake defend,
Our mother, prince, and friend,
God save the Queen!
Lord grant that Marshal Wade
May by thy mighty aid
Victory bring.
May he sedition hush,
And like a torrent rush,
Rebellious Scots to crush.
God save the Queen!
