Tactical advice regularly meted out by retarded commentators
From ARFOPEDIA
[edit] HAVING A MAN ON THE FUCKING POSTS
- Sample comments: "Well Martin, I've said this time and time again, why would you not have a man on each post?"; "Well Martin, <manager name> is one of those managers who keeps a man on each post, and his defender has really shown the value of it there."
[edit] NOT HAVING A MAN ON THE FUCKING POSTS
- Sample comments: "Well Martin, I've said this time and time again, why would you have a man on the post? It just lets the opposition fill the six-yard box and make life difficult for your keeper."
[edit] Zonal marking is a waste of time
- Sample comments: "Well Martin, I just don't understand why you wouldn't get touch-tight with your marking."
[edit] There's no point getting touch-tight with pacy strikers
- Sample comments: "Well Martin, if you're marking someone like <pacy black striker's name>, you have to stand off a couple of yards otherwise he'll just turn you."
[edit] You need to mark pacy strikers tightly
- Sample comments: "Well Martin, if you allow someone like <pacy black striker's name> to get turned and running at you, you're done for. You need to get much tighter than that."
[edit] Rolling the ball for a team mate to shoot at free-kicks has never EVER worked before EVER
- Sample comments: "Well Martin, I just don't understand why you need to take the extra touch. It just gives the defenders more time to get a block in."
[edit] Rolling the ball for a team mate to shoot at free-kicks is sometimes necessary
- Sample comments: "Well Martin, the angle was really against him there and Gerrard was in acres more centrally ready to take a fucking bow."
[edit] The goalkeeper should have caught the ball rather than punched it
- Sample comments: "Well Martin, I just don't understand why you wouldn't catch that shot/cross, it was straight at him."
[edit] The goalkeeper should have punched the ball rather than try to catch it
- Sample comment: "Well Martin, I just don't understand why you wouldn't punch that shot/cross, he's just asking for trouble trying to catch it. Get it away and ask questions later I always say."
[edit] There's only one way to beat them: Get round the back
- Sample comments: "Well Martin, you've got to hold and give, but do it at the right time. You can be slow or fast, but you must get to the line. They'll always hit you and hurt you, defend and attack. There's only one way to beat them: Get round the back."
