Steve Bucknor

From ARFOPEDIA

Owner of the slowest finger in world cricket. Bowlers have been known to break the vocal chords appealing whilst waiting for Bucknor to raise his finger.

Has been umpiring since before the dawn of time itself. Some have said that Bucknor's retirement would portend the Rapture.

India, being a bunch of Godless heathen cow worshippers, are trying very hard to make this happen.