Stargate SG-1
From ARFOPEDIA
Stargate SG-1 is the greatest Sci-Fi series of all time.
Contents |
[edit] Awesome Good Guys
Colonel Jack O'Neill
MacGyver in space
Daniel Vettori
Architect and cricketer, genius and nerd, bespectacled and bemortarted, with an arrogant trail of pussy and friendly banter with O'Neill
Teal'c
Awesome mate and brother responsible for all of the programme's greatest lines. Undomesticated equines could not remove him. Things will not cool down, Daniel Vettori. In fact, they will cool up. The Settesh guard's nose drips. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Indeed.
"In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you" 
John Crichton
Basically John Crichton
(Farscape was shit though. Cameron Mitchell > John Crichton)
Sam Carter
Sam :***************)
HOTT in that Atlantis episode where she's all wet and wearing a bra that can barely contain her mountainous titties)
George Hammond
Fat bald mate
Thor
Tiny naked alien mate
Hermiod
Another smug little naked alien mate
• McKay: Crap.
• Hermiod: What did you do?
• McKay: I just ran (the virus) through a translation program. It’s Wraith.
• Hermiod: ‘Crap’, indeed
Bra'tac
Likes to call a human a human. Teal'c's best mate and mentor
Walter
Is basically SUCH a fucking mate
Shevron 7... locked!
Dr Janet Fraiser
Janet :********************)
Jacob Carter/Selmak
Wise and surly, not to mention bald
Anise/Freya
Anise/Freya :******************) From off of Kingpin.
Dr. Svetlana Markov
Counselor Deanna Troi :*****************) looks old and rough in Stargate though :*(
Martin Lloyd
Total nerd and mate, wise creator of and creative consultant for awesome T.V. show Wormhole X-treme. Just because he's paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after him.
Orlin
Ascended mate who makes a Stargate in Carter's basement out of a toaster. Most notable for wisely introducing the concept of paedophilia into Stargate SG-1 when he returns in series 9 as a small boy who still wants to bone Carter.
Vala Mal Doran
Total fucking babe. Uses her womanly wiles to get what she wants all the time. Likes leather.
[edit] Awesome Bad Guys
Yu
Lord Yu is a slint-eyed pointy-bearded mate whose name allows the writers to include some awesome Who's on first? style jokes
Baal
Baal is a goateed Sith Efrican mate who is basically SO arrogant that he wisely cloned himself to guarantee immortality
Zipacna
Lord Zipacna AKA Martin Keemy is the only Stargate character more arrogant than Baal, and his sheer smugness just drips off his face.
Anubis
Extremely badass, but no match for Daniel Vettori
Garik
Louis Gossett Jr.
Apophis
Basically likes fucking about with Earth for no real reason other than that he can.
Osiris
A bit skinny like, but part of Daniel Vettori's arrogant trail of pussy
Senator Kinsey
Quite happy to put the world into mortal peril in search of personal political power. Is also extremely arrogant.
Hathor
Hathor :**********************)
Tanith
Almost as smug as Zipacna but with an awesome evil English accent to boot
Fifth
Human form Replicator who naively trusts SG-1 but gets his own back, sort of. Gets to see Carter nekkid. Buck-ass NEKKID.
Jim
Anubis in human form, total fucking mate tbf
[edit] Awesome Good/Bad Guys
Colonel Harry Maybourne
Quite possibly the most awesome character in the whole programme. Is basically SO arrogant that he ends up making himself the king of some backwater planet of ignorant plebs because he can.
[edit] Awesome one-off characters
Omoc
A Tollan who is so arrogant that he walks through walls and explains quantum physics with a bendy stick. He reserves particular scorn for those who DARE to save not only his own life but the existence of his entire race.
Harlan
"Komtraia!" The first stargate character to have the extremely wise idea of cloning SG-1, thereby giving the world the joy of seeing O'Neill wise-crack to himself and the vision of two Sams.
Linnea
Sufficently arrogant that she is the man in a prison full of bitches and has the nickname "Destroyer of Worlds". Turns out she was hott when she was younger :*)
The Keeper
Howlin' Mad Murdock :*) sadly didn't attempt to get Teal'c onto a plane.
Tonane
Ridiculously friendly Red Indian mate, eh. Bit of a hippy.
Ma'chello
Daniel Vettori in make-up. Old, wise, mental, devious Goa'uld-killing machine. Befriends a black beggar.
Seth
Cloth-capped mustachioed Yorkshire-based Goa'uld with a harem of bitches and a guard of eunuchs.
Aris Boch
FLASH GORDON! Rock-hard bounty-hunter and mate
Urgo
Urgo was in a one-off Candid Camera special edition of Stargate because his son directs half the episodes. Jew.
Zen Monk
SO wise.
Dr. Nicholas Ballard
Mental old dude who brought up Daniel Vettori after his parents were killed by a block of falling styrofoam in a museum. Is good mates with Mayan Gods. As you can tell from his name, Ballard is Cherman.
Alar
Probably the most racist of all Stargate characters, he learns his lesson when he remolecularises in the middle of the Stargate's iris.
Dr Kieren
Al :**************)
Ishta
AWESOME rack tbf. from off of Enterprise.
Kianna Cyr
AWESOME rack tbf
Jacek
Vala's dad, from off of Best in Show. Robs old people of bingo money. Is basically the king.
