Spoilers

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Contents

[edit] A list of movie spoilers

  • In The Sixth Sense, Bruce Willis plays a ghost. There is a tiny clue for eagle-eyed viewers: Willis' character is shot in the stomach and dies in the first scene and the only character in the entire film who talks to him is the whiney kid who can see dead people.
  • In The Usual Suspects, crimelord Keyser Soze is in fact the character played by Kevin Spacey. The story he tells Agent Kujan is entirely made up, based on minor details located around the interview room.
  • In The Wizard of Oz, it was all a dream. Or was it?!?!?
  • In Donnie Darko, Donnie manipulates the time-line so that it converges back to the original and he is killed by the falling engine, thereby saving the universe. Thicko.
  • In Memento, Lenny convinces himself that Cypher is John G because he just pisses him off so much. He also bangs Trinity.
  • In Labyrinth, Jennifer Connolly is smoking-hot jailbait, and it was all a dream. OR WAS IT?!?!?
  • In the latest Harry Potter, Dumbledore dies.
  • Ewan McGregor's character is dreaming the entire movie in his latest film, can't even remember what it's called 'coz it's so shit.
  • In The Devils Advocate, Keanu Reeves dreams everything in the courtroom lavatory. Or does he?
  • In Unbreakable, Mace Windu has been engineering accidents for years to find his superhero nemesis, who turns out to be John McClane.
  • In Signs, the aliens are undone by their only weakness - Water. A substance that they didn't notice takes up approximately 80% of all matter on the surface of the planet they chose to invade.
  • In The Village, everyone finally realises what a total fucking charlatan M Night Shyamalan is.
  • In Titanic, the human race reveals itself as a bunch of retarded women.
  • In Terminator 3, Hollywood finally regained its long lost clue on how to end a film. Rest was only "ok".
  • In Ong-Bak, Ting completely and utterly sons literally hundreds of gooks.
  • In the Vietnam War, America loses.
  • In The Italian Job, they get away but get trapped hanging over a cliff. Charlie's great idea involves emptying the petrol tank. The internatioanl match is postponed due to rain
  • In The Matrix Theodore Logan dismissed Elrond by coming back to life and diving into his torso in an obvious allegory of Christianity.
  • In South Park Bigger Longer and Uncut, Kenny dies.
  • In Star Wars Episode III, Vader goes "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
  • In The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions, everyone is left confused, frustrated, angry, bored and bemused.
  • In Control Ian Curtis tops himself on May the 18th, 1980

[edit] Rocky Special

Rocky I

Apollo Creed v Rocky Balboa - Creed wins on points

Rocky II

Apollo Creed v Rocky Balboa (rematch)- Balboa wins by way of KO

Rocky III

Rocky Balboa v Clubber Lang - Lang wins by way of KO

Rocky Balboa v Clubber Lang (rematch) - Balboa wins by way of KO

Rocky IV

Apollo Creed v Ivan Drago - Drago wins by way of death

Rocky Balboa v Ivan Drago - Balboa wins by not being human, by being a piece of iron

Rocky V

Not a clue sons, never seen it

Rocky Balboa

Well apparently someone cares. Rocky lost on points, but at the end of the day he did himself proud and proved himself to his son and indeed, the world

[edit] Television

  • In The Young Ones they rob the Fascist Pig Bank then go over a cliff in a bus and then explode and don't go on and on and on getting progressively more and more utter rot like many other programmes
  • In Only Fools And Horses they find an old watch worth £6.3 million and sell it, before Del falls through the bar and there are no more episodes not even shitty christmas specials that are shit
  • In The Brittas Empire it turns out it was all Gordon's dream, with the characters being the other paassengers on the train he was getting the the interview. Ahhhhhh
  • In Bottom Ritchie and Eddie are gunned down by the SAS for trying to blackmail the PM with a dirty home movie
  • In dinnerladies it turns out that Bren's mum has the exact same name and wasn't talking shit about having a big bag of money. They all go their seperate ways to their dream endings and the canteen is closed
  • In Twin Peaks Cooper gets trapped in the Black Lodge, his doppelganger free to roam the earth. Leland did it under the influence of BOB
  • In Friends, I am still watching the 12 fantastic episodes of The Young Ones over and over instead. It is much funnier.
  • In Quantum Leap Sam chooses to go back and save Al's marriage by telling his wife he hasn't been killed in Vietnam rather than go home. Sam never returns home
  • In I'm Alan Partridge he has a flashback to Dundee at Lynn's baptism; his book is pulped. Would like to see a final series of him as a proper nutter
  • In Grange Hill Danny Kendall partakes in a beef with Mr. Bronson which is up there with World BEEFs I and II, before finally succumbing to his tumour after taxing said Modern Languages teacher's car. Bronson is later hounded in the playground by everyone
  • In Scrubs episode 2.06 - "My Big Brother", Dr Kelso is the man in the gorilla costume.

[edit] WARNING

If you don't want to know what happens in the films and programmes listed above, do not read this page.

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