Saddam Hussein
From ARFOPEDIA
Saddam Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Koventri was born in Coventry in 1654 and after one term at Oxford studying munificence he soon realised his true calling - the one true leader of the glorious Iraqi Republic.
"Eh, relax guy!"
Widely recognised as the most sartorially elegant of all brual dictators, Saddam (meaning the stubborn one) wore both extravagant moustaches and Savill Row suits with equal aplomb, occasionally complementing his look with a cheeky beret and a standard issue WWI rifle.
Saddam famously declared beef on at least 4,236 countries, people, concepts, vices, institutions and vegetables, most famously Iran, Shia Islam, people who didn't like him, Chelsea F.C., The United States of America, Bob Monkhouse, Ron Gutter and Astrology.
In 1958, Hussein struck a deal with the C.I.A. which would allow him to sell oil, gas Kurds and buy weapons without any interference from the West. This deal was brokered by the immortal dark Lord Rumsfeld.
Things went well for a while. Kurds and Iranians were slaughtered, and domestic political opponents were gently encouraged to see things from his point of view.
Then, in 1991, mate Saddam made a crucial mistake. He failed to realise how duplicitous and untrustworthy his former American friends really were, and after attempting to rightfully reclaim the historic protectorate of Kuwait, he got royally shat on. George Galloway was not impressed.
So beloved was Saddam of his people, however, the Gulf War failed to remove him from power. George H Bush expected the Iraqis to overthrow Saddam but it just didn't happen; Saddam was just such a good mate to his people.
Many years of sanctions followed but Saddam wisely used the oil for food programme to furnish his palace with enormous golden statues of himself.
In the meantime, Iraq made a studious point of not funding Al-Qaeda and not developing either weapons of mass destruction, or the means to deliver them any further than the walls of his palace. As punishment for such reasonableness, in 2003 the entire planet decided to invade Iraq in such enormous numbers and with such unity that the war continues more than 4 years later.
That December, Saddam was captured in a hole even as he prepared his sledge and reindeer for the annual global gift-giving run. After a fair trial, including the murder of only 15 members of his legal defence team, and the replacement of only 9 judges, Saddam was found guilty of farting. For this he was to be executed.
The West finally showed how it had brought civilisation and democracy to Iraq on 30 December 2006 - tactfully choosing the first day of Eid - by hanging Saddam and recording it on a mobile.
In his last Will and Testament, he bestowed his arrogance on mate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
He famously ate his tea when Tarriq Aziz.
Some poignant words
Saddam you will never die...
always in our souls and minds..
they thought that you are gone..
they thought that they killed you..
but no,,
because here you are ..
still as you are..
still inside us as we knew you...
we lost you as a great person..
but never to lost you as a great symbol ...
a great symbol , which we seeked for in our life...
you are the only one who taught us how to be free..
free from all enemies...
you are the lover ,whom we adored..
you are the love itself,and never to love one over than yours..
Saddam ,,
sleep and have your peace,,,
all what you have been fighted for ,
will be one day...
and we will continue what you have been started..
you will never die..
they hanged your body ..
but never to hang your soul...
because its inside us ...
our whom believe in our case..
you still alive and you will never die..
don`t worry..
don`t be sad ...
you did the best in your life..
you made Iraq..
which they trying to destroy...
but never they can....
you are the father...
you are the lover...
you are the leader...
you are the hope...
you are the hero..
you are the teacher,,
who taught us the freedom...
so how would you die..
you still alive..
you never to die...
sleep dear Saddam..
sleep with a peace of mind...
sleep there between all our lovers
and among whom gave their souls,
to get a free and great Iraq...
