Peacock
From ARFOPEDIA
Peacocks are so fucking arrogant, they basically spend all their waking life grubbing for worms and looking for enemies.
Contents |
[edit] SPOTTERS BADGE
You will know a peacock when you see one, as it has long ostrich like legs that are as strong as Geoff Capes.
When looking for mates (both males for going to the pub, and females for sexual intercourse), the peacock spreads it's feathered ass out, reaching a wingspan of 2 miles.
It is so pretty, it has all the colours on it's body, ranging from blue, to green, to red, to slime, to milk.
[edit] HISTORY
The peacock was invented in 1065 by King Harold, who wanted a pet to take around town and show off to his minions. Unfortunately for the King, the peacock developed artificial intelligence and took over all towns, before taking some brief naps.
Ten thousand years later, the peacock still commands great respect amongst its peers.
[edit] WEAPONS
The peacock has a mighty beak that can pierce metal.
It also has talons and claws, which can rip the flesh of a wilderbeast from 500 yards away.
Peacocks can also see through time and space.
[edit] ESCAPE
If you see an angry peacock (they are angry most of the time), you should call 999 and then hide behind the thickest sheet of metal you can find (usually 2 miles of thickness is enough).
