Paul Merton

From ARFOPEDIA

Widely regarded as being the person who actually invented being funny, Paul Merton is acknowledged as basically being the king of the world (although like any true Englishman he still bows to a picture of The Queen daily). His amazing skills include randomly making up answers to questions on Have I Got News For You that turn out to be right, and just generally being completely and utterly fb.

Paul also gained 21 England caps in a successful footballing career whilst playing for clubs such as Arsenal, Middlesbrough and Aston Villa

Also, he used to run a kiosk on the London Underground

Tries too hard

Innit marvellous?