Mark Richardson

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This particularly FB kiwi started off as a slow left arm bowler until it turned out he was shit at bowling. Decided to become a batsman instead despite being shit at batting. Despite this obvious problem he averaged 44.77 as an opening batsman in test cricket. Clearly fb. As he was shit at batting he had to score his runs slowly having no shots to speak of.

Finished every series off with a slowest man race being very slow himself. Clearly arrogance of the highest degree.

Has also decided to be an aces self-deprecating commentator in the mold of mate Slats

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