Mark Nicholas

From ARFOPEDIA

words cannot convey what a massive twat this guy is.

These words might help:

• Jew

• Horse prick

• Smug faced moron

• Gummy whore

• Shitehawk

• Clown

• Spastic

• Homosexual

• Cunt

• COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING CUNT

Tired of his utter shitness, Sky tried to end his tv presenting career in 2005 by buying all live cricket. This plan seemed foolproof, but it reckoned without Australians being utter idiots and deciding they wanted him as their main cricket presenter. Nicholas single handedly prevented any toss being shown live during the recent Ashes series.

[edit] People who Mark Nicholas may possibly allegedly want to have sexual relations with

• Michael Clarke
• Brett Lee
• Shane Watson

[edit] Nicholas translator

• "[Silence]" = This is the least cuntish I'll ever be, and I'm still a huge fucking cunt

• "Dreamy Stuff" = I am a cunt

• "Crackerjack" = I am a massive cunt

• "Crikey O'Riley" = I am a truly massive cunt

• "Monty Panesar's Flying Circus!" = I am the world's biggest cunt

• "OH YES SHAUN TAIT YOU RIPPER" = I am the biggest cunt in the universe

• "I've lost what somebody used to describe as the 'Enid Blytonisms' - when I used to say 'wow' or 'jeepers creepers' when something unexpected happened. I knew I couldn't do that in Australia. If you talk nonsense in front of your colleagues, you can bet that, once you are off air, someone like Ian Chappell will tell you, "That was crap, mate.'" = cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt

• "That shot will live long in the memory" - what shot? cunt

[edit] Mark Nicholas is heterosexual