Kevin Kyle
From ARFOPEDIA
Kevin Kyle is a Scottish international football striker (born 7 June 1981). He once played his club football for Sunderland A.F.C. where he acquired a reputation as a physical but fair player whom defenders do not enjoy marking. He now plays for Wolves, much to the disappointment of Coventry City fans with whom he had developed a heartwarming rapport. Lyrics to the Kevin Kyle Song have been passed on to Wolves fans in order that they too may sing it whenever he comes off the bench.
He has a MASSIVE MASSIVE cock and is basically SO arrogant. Peter Crouch wishes he was Kevin Kyle.
Has recently been the victim of a vicious police conspiracy in which some bent copper who got dismissed by Kyle's cousin accused him of assault having drunk six pints of lager. Despite the fact that Kyle requires at least six pints of pure ethanol to feel slighlty tipsy, and the numerous world icons who came forward as character witnesses in support of Kyle at his trial (such as Mad Mick, Chris Kamara and The Queen), the clownish Scottish legal system insisted that Kyle's claims were "preposterous".
Was WELL WORTH £600,000.
[edit] Testimonials
- "Kevin Kyle is fucking brilliant"
- "Kyle showed promise and was our joint top scorer in 03/04, towards the end of the season he was virtually unplayable, attracting a £2m bid from Palace - however he's a no frills target man and many slated him nomatter how he played for us, when in fact that season he done very well.
Some of the same fans will probably wank furiously over Stephen Elliott telling you he was brilliant for us, when in fact he had about 6 months of good form all told.
After that he had a hip injury which kept him out about 15 months and he never looked the same since." - "He's great at getting the kit loaded / unloaded from the coach, other than that his best days are behind him - possibly because of MM getting him to carry on playing whilst carrying numerous injuries, which may explain why MM feels some loyalty towards him. He is the type of player that would run through brick walls for you, a) because he can b) because he is thick."
