Joey Barton

From ARFOPEDIA

Joseph "Joey" Barton is a cheeky Scouse psychopath cunt famous for always getting into rucks and being a cunt. In his spare time, Barton shows his arse to Everton fans while running around a lot for Manchester City. Your mum thinks it's strange because he's always so charming and intelligent when he's on the telly.

[edit] Trail of Arrogance

• Having finished his fat Havana, Barton decides the best place to extinguish it is the uncovered eyeball of teammate Jamie Tandy. What a scamp.

• Not having had a good fight for at least 15 minutes, Barton starts on a small Everton-supporting child in Thailand. Dismissing this feeble opponent with ease, Barton then turns his attention to his fat Mick captain, Richard Dunne, and sons him with no bother too. He also Jedi Mind-Tricks Dunne into kicking a wall.

• Has a fight with a taxi driver, fair play tbh

• Blithly appoints cunt, mate and all round crook Willie McKay as his agent. Stuart Pearce isn't too impressed.

• After his half-brother axed a black boy in the face until he be'd dead just for being black, Barton dismissed "that side" of his family as being a bit off the rails really. You'd never catch someone from Joey's side of the family leaving dangerous objects embedded in someone's face.

[edit] Barton gets lairy with Ousmane Dabo

Dabo on Barton

"I just pushed him away and turned my back to walk off. That's when he hit me. I really don't remember exactly what happened, but I've been told by all my team-mates he hit me from behind, a right hook which hit me on the temple and knocked me out for a few seconds. As I started to fall he jumped on top of me, held my head and punched me twice more in the face. Apparently when I was on the floor he again punched me before being pulled off. When I came round, and it can only have been a matter of seconds, there was blood everywhere. I was spitting blood and my eye was clouded over when I realised what had happened. I wanted to go after him. When I woke up this morning I looked at myself in the mirror with my face all swollen up and I looked like the Elephant Man. I've never known anything like this before in my career."

Barton on Dabo

"You're shit la."