Ian "Beefy" Botham
From ARFOPEDIA
The old Andrew Flintoff, but so completely full of shit that it ends up seeping out of his ears during Shredded Wheat commercials.
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[edit] Botham's favourite moans
- "Why did we decide to bat after winning the toss, should have had a bowl"*
- "Why did we decide to bowl after winning the toss, should have had a bat"*
- If an edge goes wide of a slip fielder - "Dear oh dear, why are the slips arranged like that?"
*Note, Botham will only moan about this if England are doing badly, even if deciding to bat or bowl was actually the right decision.
[edit] Moron
It is quite a skill to be able to identify players and just because you have been a great player does not necessarily mean that you can do it. Take Ian Botham. I thought I would ask his advice before the South Africa trip. 'Get rid of all the guys like Atherton, Caddick and Tufnell,' he told me.
'Why?' I asked
'Because they're too old, rather go with youth,' he replied.
'Who then?' I asked.
'Graeme Hick and Robin Smith,' he said.
'But hold on, they are the same age,' I replied in exasperation.
His reply I could not then believe. 'But they are different,' he said.
That was the last time I used Botham for selectorial advice.
[edit] Dismissed
An incident during the World Cup pleased me a lot. Some time before the 'Fredalo' business we were invited by Hampshire chairman Rod Bransgrove to spend the day after we played Canada on his boat. After 'Fredalo', Andrew Walpole, the ECB's media manager, advised me against this trip because the media might pounce again and see it as another drinking spree.
But I had no problems with the trip. We had been cooped up in hotels and I thought it would do the guys good. They did not have to drink, after all.
In the dressing room after the Canada match Kevin Pietersen, who knows Bransgrove well from Hampshire, was asking the other players who was going on the boat. At least four or five of the senior players asked: 'Is Botham going?'
Pietersen found out Botham was indeed going and, when he relayed this in the dressing-room, a unanimous call of 'no thanks' rang out. None of the players went.
[edit] Controversy in New Zealand
Smugly dismissed the Sky Sports gantry when on commentary duty in New Zealand. Summoned Andrew Strauss to fill his position but it backfired when the posh cunt arrogantly strolled to the middle with a bat in his hand when Owais Shah was supposed to come in. Strauss later commented, "I'm not playing second fiddle to a Paki."
[edit] Marathon Walking Cunt
I think you've missed a trick there.
