Grandads

From ARFOPEDIA

Ok mates, about to drop some knowledge on the most powerful group of men known to..well man, so sit down and take some notes kid.

Grandads were invented in 1783 and are widely recognised to be the wisest creatures on earth. They basically have a useful talent that enables them to have a base knowledge on ANY subject, and so notable skills include Fixing Things, Playing Darts, Card Tricks and Spain.

All of them arrogantly fought in wars as well, and often spend their time regaling tales of killing "those bloody germans". Although they spend 21 hours a day napping, Grandads are still fully equipped for battle. Their most obvious defense is an asbestos mouth, which enables them to gulp down boiling hot cups of tea straight from the Kettle. Other combat skills include Beards and their chosen weapon is often a pint of mild.

Grandads are most commonly found napping in armchairs, or in the corner of sussex pubs.

Grandads make the best whistlers in the world, but they all only have one, unique tune. This is the best way of telling your grandad apart from others in a large powerful group of grandads, such as the bookies on a friday afternoon.

The one thing that unites grandads is that they all engage in casual racism.

The only group of men more powerful than grandads is ninjas

[edit] Famous Quotes

• "Get that nignog off my TV"

• "GO BACK TO THE JUNGLE"

• "Grandad sit down, it's just a cat" - "I'LL KILL IT"

• "I didn't fight in the war just for some nignog to read the news on my television set."

• "If my daughter ever came home with a darkie I would have beaten her to death with a claw hammer"

• "I don't like Asian folks. Except that Greek bloke from the chippy. He's alright."

[edit] Everyone's first memory

Being tickled by their Grandad.