Graham Thorpe

From ARFOPEDIA

Graham Paul Thorpe was left-handed and fucking brilliant. Thorpe represented England in 100 test matches, averaging 44.66 before being dropped by David Graveney in favour of a Birmingham schoolboy and a South African skunk. He would have played more tests if it hadn't been for his wife being such a stupid bitch.

[edit] Great Graham Thorpe moments

• makes test debut with Mark Ilott, Martin McCague and Mark Lathwell
• makes a century on test debut
• hits only two boundaries in a century against pakistan
• scores the third-fastest double-hundred in Test history against New Zealand
• totally sons his wife by giving England permission to recall him and scoring a hundred to level the 2003 series vs South Africa

He also happened to be the head of year of year 12 in Sheffield's critically acclaimed Sheffield College, Norton Campus. He had nice hair and told amusing stories, plus he only asked me to touch his winky once.