Graeme Souness

From ARFOPEDIA

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Graeme Souness is a comedy football manager, regrettably no longer in charge of Newcastle United. Well-known for falling out with his players and giving Rangers obscene amounts of money for utter dross, Souness remains a hero on Wearside.

Contents 1 Great Souness signings 2 Great Souness signings: Benfica special 3 Great Souness quotes 4 A top dismissal of this dismal clown

[edit] Great Souness signings

• Ali Dia - free transfer
• Jean-Alain Boumsong - £8.5m*
• Craig Moore - free transfer
• Albert Luque - £9.5m
• Barry Ferguson - £7.5m
• Lorenzo Amoruso - £1.5m
• Corrado Grabbi - £7m
• Maurice "Mo" Johnston

*It should be noted that this signing was even more inspired since Boumsong was signed on a free transfer by Rangers a mere 6 months prior to Souness claiming him for this princely sum. Even more hilariously, Rangers received only £8.4m in total from the combined sale of Mikael Arteta (£3m) and Jean-Alain Boumsong (£8.5m). Completely coincidentally, a national newspaper alleged that a Premiership club's manager and chairman had received millions of pounds from the signing of a central defender during the 2004/5 season who had cost them less than £10m.

[edit] Great Souness signings: Benfica special

• Scott Minto
• Mark Pembridge
• Brian Deane
• Steve Harkness
• Gary Charles
• Dean Saunders
• Michael Thomas

An admirable attempt to raise the standard of Portuguese football. Unfortunately all were sold immediately after Souness left. The ungrateful shower of bastards.

[edit] Great Souness quotes

• "Well, I think we, erm, when you get tired, when you’re young, you get tired, you stop concentrating and I think that’s happening to us. When you get old and you’ve been round the block a few times and you know what it’s all about, when you start to get the messages from your legs, telling them tired, telling them, telling your brain they’re tired, message that goes back says, you know, no they’re not, we’re going to dig even deeper and I think right now we’re suffering big-style from people… as they get tired their concentration… dips."
• "From nowhere we've lost 4-0."

[edit] A top dismissal of this dismal clown

Yorke’s career was stagnating, although he is still bitter over the ferocious tackle from Graeme Souness, his manager at Blackburn at the time, on the training ground. “It does not surprise me that he’s out of a job because almost every club he’s gone to he’s not done it as a manager,” he said. “He’s f***ed up most of the time.”