Gary Lineker

From ARFOPEDIA

Leicester-born footballer turned presenter who isn't as funny or good as he thinks he is.

Slept around behind his wife's back and got the papers to ditch the story by agreeing to do a human interest piece about his cancerous son George. ALLEGEDLY.

Is sexually aroused by the thought of obese children having heart attacks.

Is NOT a velvet owl.

Wore a blue shirt at Leicester and Everton. This is the correct colour for players of his flavour.

Has a knackered toe.

"Keep an eye on him."