Football DVDs

From ARFOPEDIA

The phenomenon of Football DVDs relates to the sudden burst of football themed DVDs released late November/early December, just in time for christmas. The DVDs are more often than not released by former players looking for a quick buck, mediocre comedians going for some easy lulz, or sports presenters way out of their fucking league, son.

[edit] List of Football DVDs

• Ricky Tomlinson: Football My Arse - Ricky Tomlinson, master storyteller and football nut, takes you hilariously through a journey of the funniest gaffes and cock-ups of the beautiful - and occasionally ridiculous - game.

• Lovejoy and Redknapp's Best Of Football - Tim Lovejoy and, former England international, Jamie Redknapp line up in this specially filmed DVD that does exactly what is says on the sleeve - the Best of Football brings you the very best in football action.

• Alan Shearer: Ultimate Football - England football legend Alan Shearer looks back over the years at some of the most memorable moments, goals and flashes of footballing genius which explains why people so passionately love 'the beautiful game'

• Nick Hancock: 3 On 1 - Football Nightmares / Football Hell / Football Doctor - A hysterical look at football's worst nightmares. Everything that's ever gone wrong on a football pitch... The truly unbelievable.

• Mark And Lard's Football Nightmares - Self-named, International Superstar DJ's Mark & Lard present all of their favourite football embarrassments, from Premier League legends to World Cup catastrophes.

• Gordon Ramsay's Football Hell - The head chef from Hell, Gordon Ramsay, returns to his original occupation to presents a compendium of footballing cock-ups, howlers and nasties.

• Ian Wright: It Really Shouldn't Happen To A Footballer - Ian Wright presents more hilarious football gaffs!

• Bradley Walsh's Soccer Shockers - Bradley Walsh takes a look at some of the worst mistakes to have happened in football matches.

[edit] OUT THIS CHRISTMAS YEAH

• Peter Beagrie's Footballing Cunt! - Sir Beagrie OBE takes a hilarious side swiping look at modern day football, while giving a rundown of the 10 biggest footballing cunts!

• Gaol? Lee Hughes: Football or Rape - Lee Hughes takes us on a tour of prison, giving a detailed look at the cells, the yard, and the kitchen, mixed in with highlights of Lee's prison footballing career.

• Zane Lowe: Football, Yeah! Alright! - Erstwhile tosser and kiwi faced prick Zane Lowe spins the decks while synching up some of the most hi-larious football clips with some of the most rocking indie tunes!

• Jeremy Paxman’s Dry Comments - Television anchor Jeremy Paxman lends his voice, spewing out dry comment after dry comment. Note: Does not contain any football.

• Uncle Phil’s Soccer Slamdown - Fresh Prince of Bel Air’s Uncle Phil takes us on a whistle-stop tour of America, showing off the very worst of “soccer”, including the time an emu invaded the pitch, the football was a pipe bomb, and a game was called off due to patriotism.

• Paul O’Grady: Footballing Heart Attack! - Comedy legend and television entertainer Paul O’Grady drops some of the hottest footballing bombs known to man, sure to send any manager into hospital!

• Jeremy Beadle’s Football Rape - Jeremy Beadle shows us the finest footballing mishaps, while playing practical jokes on some of the biggest names in football, including Preki, Anders Limpar, and Neil Sullivan.

• John Barnes: My... um... er... the... football! - Perennially dumbstruck TV host John Barnes guides us through some of the most famous football commentary known to man, with the football clips completely removed for budgetary reasons!

• Harold Bishop: Whoops!! - Neighbours most famous resident Harold Bishop guides us lovingly through a selection of soccer clips from the great nation of Australasia, while wobbling his cheeks about and saying "golly!"

• Nigel Spink's Footballing Holocaust - Former Aston Villa great Nigel "Salmon Coat" Spink dives about with his gloves on while we watch some of the most hilarious football clips you've ever seen! From Germany!

• Ian Huntley's Football Babes - Popular Fens Playboy Ian "The Musical" Huntley guides you through his selection of cracking birds in football kits. Featuring DVD commentary by Maxine Carr.

• Clive Clarke's Football Heart Attacks - The Sunderland and Ireland legend talks us through his recent near-death experience and some of the events and players that inspired him! Featuring Miklòs Fehèr and Marc-Vivien Foe.

[edit] ONE LAST THING MATES

I would buy every single one of those before that fucking Lovejoy and Redknapp DVD. STFUR.