F1

From ARFOPEDIA

F1 was invented in 1950 by Murray Walker to give him something to do at weekends when he couldn't get along to watch the motorbikes or do the touring cars for ITV (later the BBC.)

F1 is so fucking shit and gay this season, even I'm getting bored of it. Since writing this, the 2006 season was quite wise, F1 partially forgiven.

Grand Prix so fucking good.

Contents 1 Cult F1 drivers 2 The Driver Shit List 3 Cult F1 teams 4 Cult Sponsors 5 Cult Engines 6 Famous accidents 7 Cult tracks 8 Best Races Ever 9 Plucky British drivers who were never quite good enough 10 CULT F1 people 11 Cult F1 terminology 12 Cult computer games based on F1 13 The worst colour schemes in F1 history 14 The best colour schemes in F1 history

[edit] Cult F1 drivers

• Eddie Irvine

• Fernando Alonso

• Felipe Massa

• James Hunt

• Roland Ratzenberger

• Aguri Suzuki

• JJ Lehto

• Satoru Nakajima

• Alex Yoong

• Bertrand "Chocolate" Gachot

• Pedro 'DNQ' Lamy

• Luca Badoer

• Taki Inoue

• Olivier Grouillard

• Gregor Foitek

• Ivan Capelli

• Mika Salo

• Andrea Montermini

• Pedro "Diniz in the Oven" Diniz

• Michele Alboreto

• Erik Comas

• Phillipe Alliot

• Rene 'Can Do' Arnoux

• Stefan Johansson

• Giovanna Amati

• Eric van de Poele

• Esteban Tuero

• Elio de Angelis

• Bertrand "Chocolate" Gachot

• Ukyo Katayama

• Andrea De Cesaris

• David "DC" Coulthard

• Jos Verstappen

• Markus Winkelhock

[edit] The Driver Shit List

• Jenson Button

• Ralph Firman

[edit] Cult F1 teams

• Lola-Mastercard - so bad they managed to bankrupt Lola.

• Andrea Moda

• Simtek - Started negotiations with Death cigarettes the weekend that Senna died. Wise.

• Minardi - :***)

• Coloni

• EuroBrun

• Leyton House/March

• Forti

• Pacific

• Larrousse

• ZAKSPEED!

• Tyrrell

• Brabham - Won in the early days, then lasted AGES. Had Damon Hill for a bit.

• Life

• Footwork/Arrows - Being done for pirating a whole car the stuff of LEGEND. Also had Damon Hill for a bit

• Dallara - The own brand knockoff Ferarri

• Shadow - Put South Africa on the map by putting Jansen van Vuuren all over South Africa

• Wolf

• Lotus - Loctite :*) and Johnny Herbert, what a combination :)

• Ligier

• Fondmetal

• Venturi - became Jordan, nuff sed

[edit] Cult Sponsors

• Marlboro
• JPS
  • Basically, all fags ever. Saves listing them all
• 7-up
• Agip
• Magnetti Marelli
• Bitburger
• Labatts
• Canon
• Sega
• Nokia
• Candy
• BE ON EDGE
• Loctite
• SASOL
• Elf
• Danka
• "Timing By" Tag Heuer

[edit] Cult Engines

• Mugen-Honda
• Playlife
• Judd
• Lamborghini
• Cosworth
• Petronas
• Mecachrome
• Subaru
• Hart
• Ilmor

[edit] Famous accidents

• Tom Pryce

• Ayrton Senna

• Spa 98

• Helmut Koinigg

• Ricardo Patrese

• Rubens 'Rubinho' Gonçalves Barrichello

• Martin Donnelly

• Michael Schumacher and Damon Hill, Adelaide 1994.

• Michael Schumacher breaking his leg at Silverstone.

• Michael Schumacher trying to drive Jacques Villeneuve off the track at Suzuka and failing hard, handing the championship to Villeneuve.

• Diniz in the oven

• 

• When Del fell through a BAR

• "Oh my GOODNESS!"

[edit] Cult tracks

• Adelaide

• Detroit

• Old Hockenheim

• Old Nurburging

• Old Silverstone

• Donington Park

• Old Spa-Francorchamps

• Aida

• Phoenix

• Paul Ricard

• Caeser's Palace, Las Vegas

• Old Montreal - wall of champions plus you can watch it with your tea in your lap

• Suzuka - the tactics start the day before as you decide whether to take an early night and hope you don't miss the alarm, or stay up and risk dozing off just as it gets interesting

• Mount Fuji - in the shadow of Japan's biggest mountain, so obviously it will be pissing down

[edit] Best Races Ever

• 2003 Brazilian Grand Prix - This race ruled for so many reasons. There was a fucking lake running across one corner where several drivers all span off. Then you had a quite mental accident where firstly Webber had a massive crash followed by Alonso having an even more massive crash into a stray wheel on the track. Finally due to an hilarious timing cock up by the organisers, Fisichella wasn't declared the winner for several days.

• 1991 Australian Grand Prix - Shortest F1 race ever, bad weather ftw.

[edit] Plucky British drivers who were never quite good enough

• Johnny Herbert

• The Stig

• Justin Wilson

• Martin Brundle

• Mark Blundell

• Anthony Davidson

• Allan McNish

• Jonathan Palmer

• Derek Warwick

[edit] CULT F1 people

• Bernie Ecclestone

• Professor Sid Watkins

• Murray Walker

• Jim Rosenthal

• Tony Jardine

• Charlie Whiting

• Steve Rider

• Mike Gascoyne

• Oliver Gavin

• Bernd Maylander

• James Hunt

[edit] Cult F1 terminology

• Armco

• Lollipop

• Splash 'n' Dash

• Stop and Go

• Inters

• Three-stopper

• "AND LOOK AT THAT!"

• FAAAANTASTIC!

• LEWIS WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!

• OMG BELIEVE LEWIS

• GET IN LEWIS YOU FUCKING BEAUTY

• SHAG ME MR. HAMILTON

• Panis on the streets of London / Panis on the streets of Birmingham / I wonder to myself / Could life ever be sane again ? / The Leeds side-streets that you slip down / I wonder to myself / Hopes may rise on the Grasmere / But Honey Pie, you're not safe here / So you run down / To the safety of the town / But there's Panis on the streets of Carlisle / Dublin, Dundee, Humberside / I wonder to myself etc...

[edit] Cult computer games based on F1

• Geoff Crammond's Grand Prix series

• Accolade F1

• Johnny Herberts Grand Prix

• Grand Prix Legends

• Gerhard Bergers Grand Prix Quiz

• Grand Prix Manager series

• F1CM (LOL)

• Continental Circus

• Ayrton Senna's Super Monaco Grand Prix

• Monaco Grand Prix Racing Simulation

• Hole in the wall Grand Prix Manager

• Tin Pot Racing for the PC

• F1:CE

[edit] The worst colour schemes in F1 history

- No idea wtf Renault were thinking here

- Proof that credit card colours do not look good on an f1 car

- blackburn rovers do not look good on an f1 car

[edit] The best colour schemes in F1 history

- JPS Lotus and red five Williams SO good