David Pleat

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Pleat is considered by many to be the most hilarious, if not worst commentator on English television. David's quirky commentary nonetheless guarantees an enjoyable televised match. He not only frequently, but predominantly pronounces foreign players' and managers' names wrongly, especially those unfortunate enough to end in an "a". Such examples include:

He is also capable of fucking up the names of English players not even in the match he is giving expert analysis on:

Besides his legendary mispronunciation of global stars, Pleat also has an obsession with commenting on wide players/wingers (the position he played in). If a team is struggling to create goal scoring chances, Pleat invarriably "just feel(s)" that the answer is for the full-backs to burst forward more often - thereby offering more "width" and "pace" in attack.

He ALWAYS introduces himself to the viewers with a "good evening" or "evening all".

Pleat is also known to make extremely bizarre exclamations. In a UEFA Champions League match in March 2006 he comically mispronounced "superiority" as "supority". Later that season, he made his famous cry of "and Arsenal must now really feel that the sight is in end" seconds before Arsenal surrendered their lead in the Champions League final against FC Barcelona.

In the World Cup of that year, he showed no sign of slowing down. In the opening game of the tournament between Germany and Costa Rica he said that Per Mertesacker, a defender for Germany looked "like a spider...the way he lopes his long legs around the ball". He went on to mention the classic 4-3-2 formation which the USA played against Italy, failing to recognise that they only had 8 outfield players on the pitch, following two red cards. This was the same game in which he quipped "you can smell the fatigue". In another group stage match, Sweden vs. Paraguay, he claimed that the yellow replica shirts worn by the Swedish fans "could make things confusing for the referee". In the second round match between Portugal and Holland, he referred to Maniche's first half goal as 'swift as a shot'. In the same game, Pleat compared the Portuguese manager Luis Felipe Scolari's tactics to those of "the other Portuguese coach", Jose Mourinho, which was pronounced in the usual incorrect fashion and then noted that "Edwin van der Sar (the Dutch goalkeeper) is ageless...he's 33 or 34", despite van der Sar being 35 at the time. His bizarre commentary continued in the quarter final between Spain and France when after France's equaliser he cried: "(Franck) Ribery took the ball around the goalkeeper like an experienced old head."

Another example includes a UEFA Champions League game on August 9, 2006 between Maccabi Haifa of Israel and Liverpool FC of England he said that Nir Davidovich, the goalkeeper for Haifa who is nicknamed "The Octopus", was "certainly putting the squids on Liverpool".

He continued his fine form and tradition into Euro 2008; in a Group A match between the Czech Republic and Portugal, he repeatedly referred to the former as the "Republic of Czechoslovakia."

Pleat has several favourite adjectives/words and phrases, which get regular air-time:

  • "Pace"
  • "Power"
  • "Full-back(s)"
  • "Stamina"
  • "Endeavour"
  • "Width"
  • "(Good) Evening everybody" or "Evening all"
  • "I just feel..."
  • "Strength"
  • "Diagonal ball"
  • "Like a game of chess"
  • "Tempo"
  • "Winger(s)"
  • "Old head"
  • "Patience"
  • "Outside-left/right"
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