Dave Beasant

From ARFOPEDIA

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Dave Beasant is one of the biggest goalkeeping legends ever to play the game of football. After saving a penalty from John Aldridge in the 1988 FA Cup Final he was heard to say "np", thus inventing the popular internets catchphrase. Playing the game till the age of 46, Beasant's career spanned 25 years. In the mid 80s he gave his name to indie band The Wedding Beasant. In December 2007 he began a "who can be named in the most CULT XIs" rivalry with Brian Deane. The rivalry has not turned to beef yet

[edit] Notable incidents

• involved in the only incident of a footballer being injured by a bottle of salad cream when he dropped it on his toe.

• threatened to poke out Chinese superstar Sun Jihai's eye when he dived to win a penalty, even though it was blatantly outside the box, in 1999.

• went fucking apoplectic at Michael Branch when he scored a goal a bit like that one Kanu scored against West Brom in the FA Cup that time and Branch celebrated it. The utter cunt.

• was a regular at Howden's grandparents' café when he lived over the road.

• did Superstars when it came back

• registered himself as a player, like all old goalkeepers do when they become coaches, "just in case" since this is always followed by all the other goalkeepers at the club who've successfully managed to grow pubes being simultaneously injured/suspended. Also followed by a stupidly high squad number, or the traditional 1 being used.

• failed to allow Stuart Pearce to score his 100th career goal in his last ever game from the penalty spot

[edit] Did you know?

Dave could only be more CULT if he played for Oldham Athletic or Norwich City in the 1990s, or if he wore a shirt number from 2 to 11.