CM2 commentary
From ARFOPEDIA
The precise moment when King of Seth proclaimed himself an internets don
[edit] That Memorable Match In Full
England blatentise ****
Lampard threads a jumper
Aliyev does a Mae Geri on Lampard !
Well this just rapes, no free-kick !
Ashley Cole crosses to blade of grass No. 789233274
Rooney garden sheds it back across goal
Owen with the bonce-strike !
But the gloves of Kramarenko come to life !
Wright-Phillips decks Ferguson|The annoying twat|He justifys his actions
Mbonabucyaed by Wright-Phillips
But the pass was Barclays Bank and it’s intercepted
Tagizade with the parabolic pass
Will Ponamerov do what he’s paid to do ?
Ponamerov makes cranium impact !
GOAL FOR AZERBAIJAN !
England sheepishly begin
Shukerov touches the ball with his hand|Schoolboy error !
Butt becomes a stork for the day
Owen from 12 inches !
GOAL FOR ENGLAND !
Azerbaijan wankily start
Abbasov shags his bird|Had to be a quickie though
Abbasov bestows the ball unto another
Gurban Gurbanov with a monolithic drive !
But Robinson bats the ball behind with a drainpipe !|Chicken Korma to Azerbaijan
Nabiev squares up to the ball
But Robinson utilises the official match trampoline !
Wright-Phillips fingers his bird|She moans in delight|Her tender, damp mons palpitates|Ready to accommodate its rigid customer
Wright-Phillips morphs into Leo Sayer !
GOAL FOR ENGLAND !
Rooney asks for silence !?|He’s broken into song !|’Hey Juuuuude…’|Ref, what the fuck IS this ?
Abdullayev sorts the fool out
He exonerates himself of the ball
‘Chips are ready !’ says Hajiyev|He works in McDonalds now !
Hajiyev discharges one mother of a strike on goal !
But Robinson graduates from the University of Dukedom !|With honours !|Alright, take the mortar board off now mate
Makhmud Gurbanov walks into one of those trap things|See you later, dickhead !
Azerbaijan win a bottle of Scotch|But Best thieves it !
Abbasov dispatches the free kick towards the rectangular objective
Robinson has poured himself a fucking gin and tonic !|Who does he think he is ?|Balls gone o’er though
Corn-on-the-cob to Azerbaijan
Ponamerov puts a shoe on his hand|Then throws the ball in !|Erm, don’t think that’s allowed mate ?!
Nabiev is dans le six yard boîte !
But someone has called Barnados !|They’ve taken the ball for their poxy charity !
45 minutes of football end at this point
Azerbaijan sigh as they trudge on
Nabiev skins a pig|Veggies recoil in horror
But his taxi arrives, and he doth board
Neville has a quick shave
He propels the ball down line
Tagizade plants a kiss on Owen !|This is just awful !|Ref, do something !
Tagizade shown the golden card
Imminency to England in a delicious position
Lampard steps on a landmine|Boom !
Get in there Rooney !
But Kramarenko consults the goalkeepers textbook !|Ah, THAT’S what you do !|He swipes the ball from peril !
Wright-Phillips with a 4000 yard through ball
Rooney nods the stitched orb down
Owen is off groundings !|Can he extrapolate a fairytale conclusion ?|Owen avec le projectile !
GOAL FOR ENGLAND !
Kramarenko on for a 1 at this rate
Azerbaijan consent to further anal desecration
Tagizade with a good challenge on Owen|Cunt's bailed though !
Owen injured|He's crying, sething, everything !|Bring him off, it's disgusting !
England hold up that LED board thing|Smith on for Owen
Tagizade shown a second finger !
Tagizade shown the bloody card !!
England ordainment, they should be saying 'Non !' soon
Smith solves a quadratic equation
Huseynov bundles Ferdinand to the deck !|Don't join in, thats just childish
Penalty, if they don't score – their ‘ultimate’ !!
A battered Lampard lurches up to the ball
GOAL FOR ENGLAND !
'I wasn't ready !' bleats Kramarenko !|Too fucking late mate !
Azerbaijan start turtling|Kerimov on for Shukurov
Azerbaijan high-five, before kicking off
Wright-Phillips running like L. Christie|He's found some drugs !|Wright-Phillips perpetrates terror amid the rear-guard !
But the end product was shat from the bowels of HELL
Ferdinand injured|He's been stretchered off !|Wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes in `Nam
England defensive swappage|Terry on|Ferdinand off
Butt climbs down from the tree|Silly arsehole
Ilgar Gurbanov catches Gary Neville with a hook|Like Candymans, in that film
Ilgar Gurbanov telt to git tae fock fae the professional styles !!
Kick de la gratis pour England
Lampard bequeaths a synthetic cowhide gift to Rooney !|Prospect of glee ! Prospect of glee !|FFS, he’s ballooned it|Drama over, back to our programmes
Thats it, now go home
