Alan Shearer
From ARFOPEDIA
fuck sake jackson you complete homo
Greatest England Striker Ever, apart from fellow BBC employees Gary Lineker, Jimmy Greaves, and Michael Owen.
One theory is that he cost England a place in a World Cup Quarter Final by pointlessly fouling the Argentinian keeper when Sol Campbell was going to score regardless. This may or may not be true, but many people live in the hope that one day Sol Campbell tears Alan a new arsehole on live telivision.
Recently Shearer got lairy with Grimsby's Justin Whittle, though their momentary scuff ended in a score draw, when it became clear that: a) Shearer played for a marginally better football team and b) if it ever came to a fight Whittle would turn Shearer into scraps of beef jerky within seconds.
Ended his career well short of Jackie Mell-Bairn's club record total of 238 goals.
[edit] People Shearer has sonned
- Neil Lennon
- Sir Alex Ferguson (twice)
- Roughly 18.4 trillion Manchester United fans, worldwide
- Roy Keane
- Keith Gillespie
[edit] People who have sonned Shearer
[edit] Quotes
"ideally i'd like to stay at the club for 10 years, win fuck-all, be hated by most other fans, en have my career ended by an argentine midget at sunderland's ground"
