3-5-2

From ARFOPEDIA

The tactic of choice for John Gregory. nuff said. Not really enough said tho tbf.

The idea is, England have lots of really dead good centre-backs and attacking left-backs, and no decent left-footed midfielders. So, obviously, you take advantage of that by picking an extra centre-back and playing your left-back as a wing-back, and your left midfielder can play in the centre or even behind the front two.

The only problem is, though, this is real fucking life, not Championship Fucking Manager. No fucking English centre-back knows how to play as part of a back three, because they all play in back fours for their clubs, so naturally they're all over the fucking place. Your left wing-back basically plays at left-fucking-back anyway (because that's where he plays for his fucking club) and your right wing-back is either a right-midfielder out of position or a defensive right-back, out of FUCKING POSITION. The poor old wing-backs are up and down the fucking touchline all fucking night chasing shadows, the midfield is overrun because more often than not the three of them are spread across the pitch, the front two get no fucking service from the fucking wing-backs who are fucking knackered and OUT OF FUCKING POSITION, they start dropping back to try and get any possession at all, and the opposition can push the game upfield and increase the pressure without even trying. The third centre-back contributes nothing other than positional errors and before you know it you're utterly fucked.

I fucking HATE you, Terry Venables.